#TBT = Throwback Thursday! — DELICIOUS (stream of consciousness)


(edited in line breaks for easier reading)

Feeding this intermittent hunger for this salavitic desire for temptation realized
I am only a breath away from slipping into perceived sin of flesh
reeling in this mind of slow insanity moved by music chosen for thrill of tone
and slow falsettos and high tenor trembles
moving my mental into near orgasmic spasms of twittering twinges and
why must every thing male be so delicious today
sweet puerto rican divinity passes and
aztecan untouchable smiles sweetly yet unreachable
in my air of this sickening drift older men feed no flame of fantasy
and why is it a wrongness to have the desire for the fullness of experience
I just want the whole thing the full monty the complete package of
wealth health handsome fine sexy talented creative motivating masculinity
move me higher than I am without judging me for being here now
I am so much more than my wallet just like you are but who am I talking to really
to all of them all the men who roll in the shiny cars or the dusty trucks
and lay labels at the feet of a woman who chooses not to label them
in the neat little boxes of computer nerd or entertainer or athlete
but all so beautiful and available in one way or another but
where will I find the deepest place to drink my fill of his essence
the one who can draw paint poem sing dance joke pray his way into my heart
regardless of anything else in the universe
do I deserve the joy I seek?  I don’t care
I just want what I want and have chosen to settle for nothing less and
I am now all I need to be to have what God will give me or whom God will give me to
I am a wife in my core of my very being and who ever finds me will find a good thing of
sweetness and kindness and joy and love and poetry and song and painting and
sketching and dancing and laughing and sharing and sexing and care and patience and
manicure and pedicure and neck rub and back rub and care when sick and
special meals just because and basically all the things I want to have given to me
I just am this super powerful song and poem expressed in a dance of
living breathing success today and every day from now
until God makes the earth back into Eden


(originally posted on livejournal.com Mar. 11th, 2005 at 7:52am)

In 2005 I seemed to waiver between boy crazy and pious. This was obviously a man crazy kind of poem but it does have a bit of the pious thrown in at the end.


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