The Progress – Day Six, Poem Six

 

PROMPT SIX: Write an obituary for your worst year.

THE PROCESS…

My worst year… This is going to sound so Pollyanna but I am so blessed that I can’t even think of what my worst year would be. Every year has bad and good, but the good so far outweighs the bad that this prompt is hard to start… so… going to go against my normal thought processes…

I’m trying to focus on the bad things for this… Horrible painful things… obviously the assault was bad and has tainted me for over a decade but frankly, I’m tired of writing about that. (It’s been over a decade after all.) The other bad thing was my mother dying last year. I wasn’t nearly as broken up about it as I have seen some of my friends go through. My mother was so matter of fact about life and death that to cry for more than a day or two didn’t even occur to me. Do I still cry sometimes? Sure, but it isn’t my focus most of the time. WHAT DO I FOCUS ON TO WRITE THIS???

Funny thing is, at first I thought this prompt wouldn’t be that hard. WHAT WAS I THINKING??? I guess the idea is that whatever was bad is DEAD AND GONE and an obituary is like a form of closure on that bad chapter. I think what I will have to do is just take all the bad of my past and just say goodbye to it.

The other thing… real obituaries are dry and plain with some super sentimental (or horribly cheesy) looking photo and say things like “Leaving behind a wife, three sons, and ten grandchildren” and they always focus on the positive.

Par Example:
http://obits.columbian.com/obituaries/columbian/obituary.aspx?n=marilyn-h-berry&pid=179515036#sthash.vwXSJUxY.dpuf
Marilyn H. Berry, 85, of Van Mall Senior Living in Vancouver, WA, passed away April 2, 2016. She was born in Portland, OR on Jan. 7, 1931. She played the cello in the Portland High School Symphony and graduated from Washington High School.
Marilyn was an airline stewardess for United Airlines until she married Richard Berry in 1954.
She was a talented singer and musician; singing or playing the organ or piano in church.
Marilyn is survived by her husband for 62 years, Richard; three daughters, Nancy, Karen, and Janet; 6 grandchildren; and one great-grandchild.
Funeral services will be at St. Paul Lutheran Church, 1309 Franklin St., Vancouver, WA at 1p.m on Sat., April 9, 2016.

It’s not like obits will say something like “Joe was an absolute jerk. He was mean to children and kicked dogs. Forget about anything good he did. THE MAN KICKED DOGS. He was a horrible human being and the world is better without him.” BUT PERHAPS THEY SHOULD… I think I need to write the HARSH obit. Aaaaaand HEEEERRRRRE WE GO!

~~~~~

MORE NOTES… (Hours later)

Drinking coffee to try to get my focus since I *still* have yet to START writing the first stanza of this poem… too much time on FB and not enough time on POEMING!

WHAT YEAR WAS THE WORST MOST AWFUL YEAR OF LOTS OF BAD THINGS???…. OH YEAH… 2007!!!!

I had a nervous breakdown in 2007. I was out of work for SIX WEEKS because I had a constant state of dizzy nausea from the moment I woke up until I went to bed to the point to where I couldn’t even sit up at my home computer for five minutes to check email or piddle about on social media. I dry heaved for at least 20 minutes at the beginning of every day for a whole six weeks. EVERYTHING FELL APART AT ONCE. My promotion at my job wasn’t working out and I was afraid I was going to be fired. My mother was bugging me about the $15k she loaned me for a real estate venture that wasn’t materializing (she went to her grave without me finishing paying her back for that). My ex who said he didn’t want to move from his momma’s basement to my home moved in with the woman he left me for. EVERYTHING WAS WRONG AND IT LITERALLY MADE ME SICK. On top of all that later in the year my back went out so bad that *AGAIN* I was down for the count debilitated for WEEKS.

2007 was a bear of a bitch cunt whore year. Fuck you and your misery 2007. You are dead and gone and good friggin’ riddance!

FINALLY! I think I can write this poem now!

~~~~~~~

What is your process when you write? Is there anything that is your standard “go-to” method? Do you use prompts or just write from your own thoughts? I would love to hear your take on this in the comments!

Thanks for reading! ^_^

P.S.
I plan on doing the annual chapbook as a perfect bound book and all profits will be divided evenly between Rachel McKibbens’ Outlast Project and the local women’s shelter.  If you would like to pre-order this book, you can do so for $15 via PayPal to nmnance@gmail.com and please be sure to include your shipping address. THANK YOU!

 

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